is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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