I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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