Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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