I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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