She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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