i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
you win again, gameday.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
