So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
ttyl tear gas
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
