I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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