On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
