my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
