My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
