so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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