Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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