Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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