Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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