yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
