ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
