Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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