I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
