She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
