How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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