I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
