I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
