If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
