I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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