Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
