OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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