just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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