sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
