Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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