Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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