I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
