how can u be prego again
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Randomize
