why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
