i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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