Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
