Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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