Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
