This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
