you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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