If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
