I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Text me some of your sweat
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
