U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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