Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
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