when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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