why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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