Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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