i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize