So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
