My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
