I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
