Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
