Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
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