So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
