I wish my penis had an off switch
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
