What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Randomize
