In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
