I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
